When is a Fight a Fight?

Mayweather Extends His Hand of Chivalry

I was deeply upset by Floyd Mayweather’s controversial knockout win over Victor Ortiz Saturday night.

If you missed it, in the fourth round, Ortiz drove Mayweather into a corner and during a flurry of punches, sent his head into Mayweather’s chin. Referee Joe Cortez jumped into the fray, stopped the action, and signaled for a point deduction on Ortiz.

The two fighters tapped glove and an embarrassed Ortiz stepped forward to hug Mayweather – a move quite common after a foul in boxing. Mayweather leaned forward, as if to acknowledge the apology, and then plastered Ortiz with a short left hook. Ortiz flew back and glanced toward the referee in protest. As Ortiz looked away, Mayweather drove a straight right to Ortiz’s chin and he crumpled to the canvas and was counted out.

While this was the most publicized departure from conventional fight etiquette, it wasn’t the only one. Having watched thousands of fights on youtube, Worldstar and even assbeat.com, i have become an expert in the unspoken code of conduct when two people come to blows. Aside from Floyd’s knockout, i was also upset by the following:

1. Not one friend or family member got involved in the fight

2. Not once did i hear anyone yell “Youtube” or “Worldstar” into the camera

3. The camera footage itself was neither grainy nor obscured, and captured the fight from start to finish

4. Neither fighter stashed weapons in his clothing

5. The fighters weren’t permitted to battle rap before the fight

6. Not one chair was thrown from the crowd

7. Neither fighter was permitted to use racial slurs

8. After one fighter had been knocked out, noone came into the ring to take pictures next to his unconscious body

9. After one fighter had been knocked out, noone came into the ring to put their mixtape on his unconscious body and begin promoting their website

10. The winner didn’t leave with the loser’s woman

11. Not only was neither fight intoxicated, noone in either corner was seen holding a blunt.

I don’t know what you call what happened Saturday night, but it’s certainly wasn’t a fight. Did you see the surveillance footage of the MGM parking lot afterwards? Now that was a fight.

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